Avengers: The Musical
by The-Turtles-Favour-Us
Summary: This is a story of love, lust, jealousy and understanding. Follow one man's journey - and the story of a few others - as they find and embrace the homosexual hero inside themselves. Pairings: STony, ThunderFrost, and one-sided Science Boyfriends.
1. Chapter 1

_**Renee: OH MY GOD I'M WRITING A MOTHERFUCKING AVENGERS FANFIC. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE YET. EPIC FAIL IS FAIL BUT FUCK IT GAY SEX.**_

**We don't own Marvel's Avengers: the comic, the movie, or the characters. They belong to Marvel and the actors belong to themselves. That is until we buy them off of Craigslist. **

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

The audience shuffled in through the massive oak doors. Murmurs spread throughout the crowd, and most of the attendees who weren't gossiping were looking around the auditorium skeptically, unsure about what they had paid to see. The new show Broadway had everyone talking; information spread like wild fire, through the internet and by word of mouth. Anyone who was on the internet knew within minutes. Anyone who wasn't on the internet (Such a strange thing nowadays) knew within days. But there was one common factor between everyone though: no one actually _**knew** _anything about it. The musical was a mystery and this was probably the reason so little people had turned out for opening night. Only two hundred people filed into the hall, a relatively small amount for all of the hype about it.

Minutes passed and the apprehension built. Cell phones and watches were being checked constantly, waiting until the little hand or digital numbers turned to read 7:30. The crowd started becoming restless. Hushed murmurs turned into full-out conversations, though those died down quickly as the lights dimmed. Soon, the auditorium became dead silent.

Two spotlights moved to centre stage. A man walked towards them, dressed in a white tuxedo; only his upper half was visible, the fabric a bright spot against the deep red of the curtains. He stepped into the light and turned to face the crowd, sending a gasp throughout it and enticing whispers as they saw who it was.

Captain America stared straight forward, his time in the military making his posture immaculate. Excitement spread throughout the crowd at this new development, a few brave souls whispering to the people next to them. The captain waited for a moment, letting the talking fade, before music drifted out of the pit and he began to sing.

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound_

_That saved a wretch like me_

_I once was lost but now am found_

_Was blind but now I see_

As soon as he finished, whispers broke out along with a small scattering of applause. He turned and walked off the stage, the spotlights shutting off and plunging the hall back into twilight as he did.

More whispers traveled throughout the crowd. Had Captain America had turned into a showboy again? If so, he was missing the sequined skimpy costume and the accompanying dancers… or was he?

Seconds later, two more people walked on stage. Another round of gasps could be heard. One of the people was a naked chibi with a leaf over his crotch and the other was a female chibi in a golden, sequined dress. The male chibi spoke.

"Ladies and gentlemen, homos (Preferably) and closet homos, welcome to the first showing of _Avengers: The Musical _created by my awesome self and Renee-chan here. I am Tono, writer and composer for the shitty music you will hear tonight. Welcome to the show." He bowed, leaf falling off. The female chibi rolled her eyes and spoke,

"Good evening to you all. My name is Renee, and I am the writer and director for this wonderful performance you are about to witness. Now as stated before, neither Tono nor I take claim to anything in this play, except for the music. Senpai will murder you if you take that."

"Let's get to the fun part. Legal shit is boring. All of the music in the show was written by me, so suck it if you don't like it." The chibi preformed multiple pelvic thrusts in the audience's direction, proving his point. "Now enjoy! Lights, camera, action!" He jumped off the stage and landed in a lady's lap, her scream echoing through the mostly silent hall. The other chibi shook her head and walked off stage in a more civilized way.

The lights on the stage came back to life as the curtain rose, showing a night club – a strip club, rather. An array of tables were scattered around, all surrounding a smaller stage. To the right of the stage, there was a bar. Behind the bar, a lonely man stood wiping the counter, and above his head there was a banner that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY THOR!"

The stage, which was adorned with green satin ribbons, stood in front of a sign that read "Welcome to the Green Lantern", presumably the name of the club. The club itself was very high end; white leather couches and armchairs sat in the corner, and glass coffee tables had been placed in front. The bar had many bottles behind it, all brand names; expensive ones too. But for such a prestigious club, it wasn't that busy. The only person in sight was the bartender. That is until the music started drifting out of the pit.

A group of young men – all dressed in very provocative clothing – ran out onto the stage and stared singing.

_Here at the Green Lantern it's an easy price to pay._

_Here at the Green Lantern we can drink all night and day._

_We look up when their bodies clash high upon the stage,_

_They will do whatever you wish,_

_No matter the age._

_Here at the Green Lantern, candy catches the eye._

_Here at the Green Lantern there's six boys for every guy._

_Hurry up and pay up, _

_Don't worry, don't be shy._

_Here at the green lantern life is simply sublime_

From the right side of the stage, Thor entered. He had shed his normal Asgardian attire for more common clothes, though he still kept Mjolnir by his side. He opened his mouth and sang to the crowd, voice deep and commanding as ever.

_Sit up, lit up_

_Who in the world_

_All these drinks!_

_Is that a boy or a girl?_

_Not that it matters, just a little odd._

_Nothing I can't handle after all I am a god._

The boys behind him sang once more.

_Here at the Green Lantern it's an easy price to pay._

_Forget all your troubles,_

_Come and drink the night away._

_This comes only once a year, your happy birthday._

_Here at the Green Lantern you are free to stay._

Captain America walked back out on stage, staring at the dancing, nearly-naked men with disapproval. His entire face showed his distaste for what was going on behind him, and his words just proved that same point.

_My god what is this?_

_What the hell is this?_

_Never I ever- words cannot describe._

_I am here for a friend,_

_But we are only friends!_

_Back in my day-_

_Well I'd never!_

The boys surrounded him, shaking, shimmying and sparkling.

_Here at the Green Lantern it's an easy price to pay._

_You may not think so now, but soon and someday._

_You will look upon yourself and see it our way._

_Everyone loves everyone, especially a gay._

Suddenly, the music stopped. Everyone on stage froze where they were: the dancers were gathered around the Captain; he was trying to get out of the circle in vain. Thor stood behind the bar, a glass of beer in one hand and his other arm wrapped around the bartender. Loki walked in on stage, accompanied by a smooth melody.

_I am not the bad guy._

_Seriously I never meant to be._

_I'm in a glass case of emotion;_

_Jealous of my bro and quite lonesome._

_Not to mention that crook,_

_My joy is not all that he took._

_There's one more reason I'm blue,_

_No one knows it's my birthday too._

His pale skin faded to blue as he walked off stage. Once he was out of sight, the upbeat music started once more.

_Here at the Green Lantern it's an easy price to pay._

_We don't really give a shit about your soul or its pain._

_Honestly just listening is driving us insane._

_Go out, get out, and find yourself a shirt._

Swinging in from the rafters, Peter Parker landed on stage.

_Hi!_

_My name is Peter Parker._

_My name is Spider Man._

_I am here at the Green Lantern,_

_And I am all your biggest fan!_

_Except Loki!_

A ripple of laughter went through the crowd. That laughter changed to applause and some hoots and hollers as the man himself, Tony Stark, walked on stage.

_Here at the Green Lantern, Spider-Man is not allowed._

_All your movies suck so get the hell out of my town._

_I am Iron Man but you knew that from the start._

_I have an arc reactor keeping parasites from my heart!_

He looked towards to audience, motioning for applause that was readily given to him. Then he looked back at Spider-Man.

_Haha, but seriously get the fuck out._

Peter was practically thrown off stage by the dancers. After removing the unwanted presence, they started a kick line. Stark joined them and sang along.

_Here at the Green Lantern it's an easy price to pay._

_Here at the Green Lantern we can drink all night and day._

_We're coated in glitter, sweat, leather, and more._

_You can't get this service in any other store._

_Here at the Green Lantern candy catches the eye._

_Here at the Green Lantern there's more men than anyone can deny._

_Hurry up and pay up,_

_Don't worry don't be shy._

_Here at the Green Lantern_

_Heroes commit a crime!_

The song ended, and the audience burst into applause. The orchestra began to play again as the actors scrambled around the stage. The dancers took up their posts on poles and the Avengers congregated in a group in front. Natasha, Bruce and Clint had joined the rest of the gang, and Loki sat alone at the bar. Tony called Thor over to the group, smiling.

"So big guy, how do you like your party?" The billionaire said, patting the god's back lightly.

"It is a celebration fit for a god, my friend!" Thor slammed his hand against Tony's back. "Thank you for arranging this worthy spectacle!"

"Yeah well," he huffed, coughing, "Don't treat the strippers like that, will you? Keep the excitement in your pants." The two separated and started milling about. Bruce walked up to Stark, who kept getting hounded by the dancers for autographs.

"A gay strip club, Tony? Why pick here of all places?" Bruce took a sip of the glass of whiskey he had in his hand.

"I took Thor to a normal strip club once before. Wanted to show him something different this time." Tony looked towards Thor, who was feverishly cheering for the dancer in front of him. "He seems to be enjoying it."

Banner shook his head. "How did you even manage to get a club of this caliber shut down for the whole day?"

Tony looked at Bruce, his 'Are you kidding me?' face on.

"Don't answer that. I somehow managed to forget that you're Tony Stark."

"Smart call." Tony patted the scientist's shoulder and turned towards the stage, ready to enjoy his comrade's birthday party.

* * *

**Renee: Please give Senpai a round of applause for writing that beautifully amazing song!**

**Read and review! Spread the word too, with this one. We gotta share the crack with everyone we can get. If you have a tumblr, which we know most of you do, review/PM us and we can give you the name of Renee's Avengers tumblr with her friend that has the original post on it so you can reblog. Got a Twitter/Facebook? Well then you know what to do.**

**~Renee and Tono**


	2. Chapter 2

**We don't own Marvel's Avengers: the comic, the movie, or the characters. They belong to Marvel and the actors belong to themselves. That is until we buy them off of Craigslist. **

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

Before Stark could become the playboy he was known for something caught his eye. It was round, it was firm, and it was beautiful. The object in question, currently covered in a pair jeans that Tony himself had bought, belonged to America's super soldier: he was looking at Steve Rogers's ass.

"Holy fuck. Bruce. Have you ever noticed how perfect Rogers' ass is?" Tony couldn't help his ogling.

Banner looked at him, eyes narrowing slightly. "You've never noticed?"

"No! I'm usually too busy looking at myself to notice others but," Rogers moved towards the bar, his hips swaying deliciously. "Jesus Christ man."

"Wow Tony. I'm surprised." Bruce downed the rest of his whiskey in one sip. "He parades around in blue spandex most of the time, doing acrobatic moves that make me flinch in pain and you just noticed how his ass looks." Bruce started to walk away, but his shoulder was grabbed by his friend. The genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist's mouth – which had failed to close – opened wider as he sang.

_Dat ass,_

_Dat ass!_

_X-Men: First Class_

_I'm talking about_

_Dat ass._

Banner rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself.

_It makes me wanna sing_

_It makes me wanna cry_

_It makes me crave that all-American cherry pie_

"A sexual reference, really Tony?"

_Dat ass_

_Is Grade A American beef!_

_Dat ass_

_Dat ass_

_An all-American burgered burger king_

_I wanna take a bite_

_Work with all my might_

_With dat ass the war is won!_

"There is no war."

_So let me nibble on those hot cross buns_

Banner groaned. "That's disgusting." Tony looked at Bruce, growling, _**"**__C'mon, give it to me!"_

_Dat ass_

_Dat ass_

_I'm talking all the way_

_All on display_

_Enjoying the view_

_When it comes to dat ass_

_I've got a pass_

_To fine my way through_

_Dat ass_

_Das ass!_

_Me and you_

Steve turned around, surveying the room. "Is someone singing about my ass again?" Bruce started to raise a hand to point at Tony, but he was quickly shot down.

"I think you're going crazy, Cap. So how are you enjoying the party? Amazing, isn't it? I know. All my parties are."

Steve rolled his eyes. "How long is this party, Tony? I don't feel that comfortable here." Steve cringed as one of the dancers walked up to him and started grinding against him. As if warding off the devil, he carefully handed the dancer a five-dollar bill.

"I've taken you to a strip club before, Cap. What's the difference now?"

"Those were women! These are men! There's a big difference; I didn't even want to go to the other one."

"It's all the same. You get sexy people to dance on you for free; what's not to like?" Stark gestured towards the stage. The remaining Avengers had gathered around it, cheering and clapping. Glitter and confetti was falling from the rafters, the sparkle magnified from the bubbles that floated around. Peter Parker hid in the corner, staring longingly at the party. Natasha and Clint had shed their cold demeanours for once, and they were enjoying the show that was being put on.

Thor was sashaying around on the stage, surrounded by the strippers.

"ANOTHER!" he bellowed, motioning to the dancers. As they moved closer, his muscular arms - which were covered in confetti and shining from bubble juice - latched onto a pole in front of him and he started spinning around it. One leg wrapped around the cold metal and he moved his hips up and down, grinning the entire time.

"Tony! Do you see? I am like the women in that movie we watched!" The god whirled around the pole, surprisingly limber for his size.

"I see you big guy! A little more practice and you can get a job here." Tony grinned and placed an arm around Steve's shoulder. "C'mon Cap. Let's see if you can bend like that." They walked off towards the stage.

Bruce sighed, staring at the rest of the group for a little while longer before walking towards the bar and talking a seat. "One more." He said, gesturing to his glass. The bartender poured him another glass full of the amber liquid. Picking it up, Bruce turned to the audience. At his movement, the first notes of a song drifted up from the pit, slow and morose.

_What is this feeling pounding deep in my chest?_

_It's unfamiliar and it hurts no less_

_I feel I've lost but what am I losing_

_This strange emotion, new and confusing_

_I'm not used to not understanding_

_Ah, it seems I've got it_

_Evil and demanding_

_Jealousy_

_Clouded fire in my eyes_

_Singing sickly lullabies_

_There is no way to disguise_

_How sickly I feel_

_How incredibly real_

_Hurt has only one way to heal my_

_Jealousy_

He stood and walked to centre stage.

_It's very rare I feel like picking a fight_

_But I called dibs so I'm in my rights_

_I am smarter and more cunning by far_

_And yet it seems I am wishing on stars_

_I may not seem like it but_

_I'm very fair_

_Still I don't know why I've lost you to a derriere_

_Jealousy_

_Clouded fire in my eyes_

_Singing sickly lullabies_

_There is no way to disguise_

_How sickly I feel_

_How incredibly real_

_Hurt has only one way to heal my jealousy_

Two spotlights appeared on stage, surrounding him in a pool of light.

_I've heard of this_

_But once before_

_Still I cannot place it_

_I'll google it and learn some more_

_And try best not to face it_

_He is my friend_

_And I love him so_

_So someone tell me now_

_Why can't I let him go?_

Bruce turned his eyes off of Tony and sighed, "_Ah, I see."_

_Jealousy_

_Clouded fire in my eyes_

_Singing sickly lullabies_

_There is no way to disguise_

_How sickly I feel_

_How incredibly real_

_Hurt has only one way to heal my_

_Jealousy_

The music faded away, leaving a silent auditorium. Bruce walked back to the bar, placed the hard liquor on the bar, called for a bottle of beer, and then left the stage. A pair of green eyes watched his steps as the god of mischief lamented about his own jealousy.

* * *

**Read, review and share!**

**~Tono and Renee**


	3. Chapter 3

**We don't own Marvel's Avengers: the comic, the movie, or the characters. They belong to Marvel and the actors belong to themselves. That is until we buy them off of Craigslist. **

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

"Jealousy…I do know how that feels…" Loki swirled his glass, looking towards the stage. Thor was still dancing, though his pole had been taken by its rightful owner. The god spun and turned along with the other strippers on the stage. All of his friends cheered him on, some even taking out money and throwing it in his direction. The god moved to the beat, looking like a real stripper himself. His shirt was swinging in a circle above him, covered in glitter. Loki looked away and sighed at his brother, the rightful heir to the king of Asgard. He downed the rest of his drink and asked for another.

A strong hand slapped his back, making the frost giant jump.

"Brother! Do not just sit at the bar and drink the night away! Come! Join the celebration!" Thor practically threw Loki from his seat in hopes of getting him to mingle with others. The god of mischief fell to the ground, scrambling so he was facing Thor and hissing.

"Do not touch me!" Loki stood, brushing off his pants. Thor just grinned and placed a hand around Loki's waist, pulling him closer.

"Come now Loki. You were invited to these festivities, so you should enjoy them as well!" Thor dragged the struggling jötunn towards the stage, pushing him into one of the leather chairs. "Relax, dear brother! Let these men help you." Two of the dancers ran over to the gods, one grinding against Thor, the other straddling Loki's lap. Loki pushed the stripper off and glared at Thor. He stood, wiping the glitter from the dancer off his pants.

Disappointed by his brother's behaviour, Thor sighed."Your loss, brother." Thor shrugged and turned away, walking back to the party with a stripper on either arm. His friends roared with approval at his return. Loki stared at the group a feeling of loneliness creeping up. On the stage, the dancers started humming.

_Hum dee dum dee_

_Hum dee dum dee_

_Hum dee dum dee_

Loki started singing over the backgrounds.

_I am not the bad guy_

_Until they want me to be_

_I can't deal with Thor any longer_

_I can't deal with my own jealousy_

_He is the one they admire_

_So what is left for me?_

He walked to the bar, ordering a glass and taking a sip. For a while, he just sat there and thought before an idea came to him. He smiled a creepy, villainous smile.

_I can get to Banner_

_I can win this game_

_And they will do whatever I say!_

_I'll use the Hulk_

_Escape my fate_

_Be free at last of this glass cage_

_Of emotion_

_I will never again be lonesome!_

_I will have adoring fans!_

_Just let me skip Spider-Man!_

_At last I can be the hero!_

_Finally the hero._

Loki smiled once more, rubbing his hands together. He walked off stage, mumbling to himself.

Back at the party, Steve had separated from the group once more and was sitting on one of the leather couches. He was clutching what looked suspiciously like a rosary, and his lips were moving in a silent prayer. Whenever one of the dancers tried to walk up to him, he gave them a look that could kill and they quickly went back to the party. Tony broke away from the group and went to the bar, ordering a round of shots. He carried the tray over to where Steve was sitting and placed it on the table.

"Steve! Put away that godforsaken thing and live a little!" Tony shoved a glass into the soldier's face, getting a dirty look in return.

"I don't want to do shots with you, Tony." Steve took the glass and placed it back on the tray. Tony downed the glass in his hand before reaching for the one Steve had just put down.

"Don't be a party pooper Cap!" Down went another glass. "You're gonna make Thor sad if you don't enjoy yourself! Right Thor?" Tony yelled to the god.

"Pump it! Loud-ah! Pump it! Hamm-ah!" Thor swung the weapon in question around, making everyone near him duck for cover.

Two more drinks disappeared, and Tony's speech started getting a little slurred. "See? Let—" One more drink down. "—loose." Tony picked up another glass, prepared to drink it, before Steve's hand caught his wrist.

"I think you've had enough, Tony."

"Whaa? Who you think you are? My father?" Tony stood, laughing heartily and taking the drink with him. He walked to the bar, ordering another round of shots to be sent to Steve and a cold beer for himself.. Tony's face became much more serious as he stopped pretending to be drunk. He sighed, swallowing the last shot and picking up the beer bottle.

_When I was young I dreamed of a father__  
__And maybe I've found that in this man_

He smacked himself over the head, grimacing. "_No I'm not doing this. Stupid."__  
_

_I'll tell it to ya straight__  
__As straight as I can be__  
__Taste the effing rainbow__  
__Welcome to my galaxy__They don't call me Iron Man for nothing__That was an innuendo__  
__In case you didnt know__When I tell you I like you I'm not bluffing__This is all part of my plan__  
__To make you know and understand__I like you better than this ice cold beer__Welcome to this century__  
__I'll help you see what I see__So listen now, and listen here__I like you better than myself__  
__It's really hard to say__  
__But I think you're worth it__  
__In your own special way__I'll say it once more__  
__Since you're kinda old__  
__You might be hard of hearing__  
__A frozen Cap-sicle__I like you better than myself__  
__It's a little hard to tell__  
__Since we're in a cat house__  
__And I like myself so well__So if I say I love you__  
__You can probably guess it's possibly true_

Tony stopped singing, plainly staring at the leader of their group. The super soldier had gone back to sitting quietly, though he was no longer praying. Steve was looking at the group, smiling slightly at Thor's antics. He turned towards the bar, catching a small glimpse of Tony's face as the billionaire downed his entire bottle.

"Another." Tony sighed, placing the empty bottle back on the counter, resisting the urge to smash it on the floor.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx **

All the lights on stage dimmed, going out completely for thirty seconds. When they came back on the outside of The Green Lantern could be seen. Bruce was sitting on a bench in front, the half empty beer bottle in his hand. He sat there alone, humming the tune to _Jealousy _until the spot next to him was filled. The scientist looked over, only mildly surprised.

"Loki."

The god smiled. "Bruce. How nice it is to see you once more, when you're not as, ah, green."

"Yeah well, there's not much reason for the other guy to come out now. It is a party."

"I beg to differ." Loki folded his hands in his lap, leaning back. Bruce just stared at him.

"You what?"

"I believe that there are many reasons for your other side to show himself."

"What do you know?" He asked, taking a swig from his bottle.

"You may not be green on the outside, but that does not mean that there is no green in sight. If I am not mistaken, you Midgardians call envy 'a little green monster'." Banner stiffened slightly but continued to play dumb.

"Haven't got the slightest idea what you're talking about, Loki."

"It seems like Tony doesn't know either." At this, Banner shot to his feet. He dropped his bottle, staring at Loki.

"You keep your mouth shut, and you mind your own business. We wouldn't want the other guy to come out and shut it for you." Loki stood also, lifting his hands in a sign of defeat.

"As you wish, Dr. Banner." The god turned and started to walk away, calling over his shoulder. "But I know what envy is like; I know how to be rid of it." Loki disappeared off stage.

Bruce sat back down, looking at the now-shattered bottle on the ground. He inhaled deeply and began singing.

**I have a feeling****  
****I feel alone****  
****Sitting on this bench****  
****Sitting in the friend zone**

Loki reappeared behind Banner, placing his hands on the scientists shoulders.

_I can help you fight ,and find your way__  
__I can help you to his heat, and there you'll stay_

Bruce turned to face the other, his face barely hiding his contempt.

**Jealousy****  
****Tempting me to join this fool****  
****Causing me to lose my cool**

_You may have had straight A's in school__  
__But you fail to see__  
__How bad this can be__  
__If you'd only join me__  
_  
**Jealousy****  
****Is there really no other way****  
****I can barely contain my rage**

_Help me set the final stage_

_**How sickly I feel**_

_Here is the new deal_

_**How incredibly real**_

They sang together.

_**Hurt has only one way to heal**_

_Your jealousy_

**My jealousy**

_**Together you and me**_

Loki outstretched his hand, waiting for Bruce to take it.

_To make a new start__  
_  
**Fight my way to his heart**  
_  
__**Jealousy!**_

Bruce took Loki's hand, shaking it firmly. The god of mischief grinned, placing an arm around his new partner's shoulders.

"Now," he said, still smiling, "Let us talk." Together, they walked off stage.

* * *

**We apologise if who was singing what in the last song got confusing! There's only so much we could've done. Bruce's parts were bolded and Loki's parts were in italics while parts they sang together were both bolded and italicized. **

**Read, review and share!**

**~Renee and Tono**


	4. Chapter 4

**We don't own Marvel Avengers: the comic, the movie, or the characters. They belong to Marvel and the actors belong to themselves. That is until we buy them off of Craigslist. **

**Guide for duet: italicised lyrics are sung by Steve, bolded sung by Tony, lyrics sung by both are bolded and italicised.**

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

Once the two were gone, the stage spun, revealing the party once more. It had died down a little bit; only two dancers were on stage, while the rest of chatted in a corner. Most of the Avengers stood by the bar, drinking and laughing and being merry, everyone except Steve, who was sitting on the other side of the bar, alone. Worried by his friend's behaviour, Thor sat down next to Steve and ordered himself a mug of beer.

"How are you, my friend?" Thor asked, eyes gleaming hopefully. "I am aware that you were not enjoying the festivities earlier, but I hope it is to your satisfaction now." Steve couldn't help but smile at the god.

"Of course I'm enjoying it! I was just a little surprised is all."

"Good! Now, for this 'stripping' activity, as you Midgardians call it. You must give it a try!" He beamed and slapped Steve's back, pulling him up from his chair. Steve grimaced and shook his head, trying to sit back down.

"Yeah Cap! Why don't you come and show us those moves on stage?" Tony had appeared by Thor's side with a glass of gin in one hand. He pulled Captain America's arm. "It'll be fun~" he cooed, almost falling over from the alcohol.

"You're drunk, Tony."

"And you're no fun!"

"I must side with Tony, Steve. You should enjoy the festivities along with everyone else! As handsome as you are, surely it cannot be your first time 'dirty dancing,' as Tony put it!"

Steve wrung his fingers and looked away. "Well, about that..."

Tony burst out singing.

**The first****  
****The first****  
****Time I saw you****  
****It was a thrill****  
****It gave me chills****  
****I wanted you so**

At the random outburst, Thor's expression changed to one of confusion. He walked away, off to join the dancers.

**And now****  
****And now****  
****Here it's us two****  
****It's a thrill****  
****Feel the chill****  
****Let it go**

Steve scoffed and answered.

_The first__  
__The first__  
__Time I met you__  
__You were a prick__  
__You made me sick__  
__And you do now__  
__Just us__  
__Just us__  
__Here me and you__  
__No means no__  
__Let it go__  
__I will now allow_

**Steve don't be so dense****  
****Let me through the fence****  
****Around your heart****  
****So we can start****  
****To love****  
****Please please take the offense****  
****Let down your defense****  
****Around your heart****  
****So we can start****  
****To love**  
_  
__To love, what are we gay?__  
_  
**I would like it that way.**

The captain bristled, and his hands turned into fists.

_Tony__  
__I could blame your death__  
__On the beer in your breath__  
__Tell me a joke__  
_**  
****My love****  
****It could be your butt****  
****It's made me a slut****  
****I'll pay till I'm broke**  
_  
__I don't like you at all_  
**  
****Not till you taste my balls**

_The first__  
__The first__  
__Time I met you__  
__Words can't describe__  
__How you should die__  
__Leave me alone_

**The first****  
****The first****  
****Time it is true****  
****I'd rather die****  
****Than make you cry****  
****It is so****  
**  
_For god's sake leave me alone!_

"For god's sake-" Tony smacked his forehead. "Thor get in here and help a brother out!"

"I am busy, friend!" Thor called from his place amongst the group of strippers.

"Wait a minute… You were the one singing about my ass!" Steve cried, disgusted.

The billionaire looked around for any type of help. Seeing none, he began singing again.

**Heh heh heh****  
****Uhhhh****  
****The first****  
****The first****  
****Yeah it was me**  
_  
__How disgusting can you be!_  
**  
****So what if I was enticed?**

_I mean yeah, it is kinda nice-__  
__No wait!__  
__I'm straight__  
__I'm straight__  
__There's a girl back in time__  
__I crashed a plane for her sake!_

**That doesn't rhyme**

"Oh? Guess not my mistake." Steve shrugged and the two sang together.

_**The first**__**  
**__**The first**__**  
**__**Time that we met**__**  
**__**It's too hard to forget**_  
**  
****How much I want**

_How much I don't_

"Where were we going with this?" Tony asked.

**The first****  
****The first****  
****Time that we sang****It was a bust****Afraid it was****The first****  
****The first**

"How do we end this?" Steve questioned, wanting it to be over.

"Uhh! One more!"

_**The first!**__**  
**_

They sang together, before the music cut off. Tony's arms spread out in a flourish, while Steve immediately turned around and began to walk away. His hand was caught from behind, and Steve was spun around forcefully. Tony, who was grinning wide, pulled the other's face close to his own and aimed for the soldier's lips. But before contact could be made, Steve pulled away and punched Tony, very nearly missing hitting him straight on his eye. Tony flew through and slammed into the bar. Broken glass and alcohol flew everywhere as the bar practically shattered beneath him. Steve just stared, his glare like daggers, before walking off stage.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

The scene changed. Steve was outside of the club, sitting on the bench with his rosary out. The quiet mumblings that were Steve's prayers could be heard over the music inside the club. Captain America had just stated on his twelfth Hail Mary when someone sat next to him on the bench.

"Oh hey Bruce," Steve greeted, making the sign of the cross and putting the rosary back around his neck, "Enjoying the party?"

"You could say that. What are you doing with a rosary?" Bruce handed the captain a bottle of beer. "Tony's antics finally became too much for you?"

"Thanks." Steve took a swig, swishing it around his mouth before swallowing and sighing. "I guess he has. Did you know that he's..." He fell silent, looking away.

"He's what? An ass? A dickwad? A knucklehead mcspazzatron?"

"All of the above. But did you know that he's gay?" Steve was obviously uncomfortable saying the word. Next to him, Bruce snorted.

"Gay? No. He is bi though."

"Bipolar?"

"No Steve. Bisexual. As in he likes both men and women."

"Oh. Do you think Miss Potts knows?"

"Knows that he's bi? I would assume so. She knows him better than anyone."

"That's true." Steve thought over this new information, taking another swig.

"Does it surprise you?"

"Well I never expected Tony to go after men the same way he goes after women." Banner scoffed, thinking about Tony's reaction to Steve's ass.

"He'll fuck anything that moves. It doesn't show that he's bi, though, until he starts drinking." Bruce noticed Steve's obvious discomfort on the subject and decided to press his advantage. "Are you homophobic or something?" he asked, silently hoping the answer would be yes.

"No!" Steve exclaimed, "I never did judge people. It's just surprising . And I would've liked to learn a different way..." he trailed off.

"How did you even find out?"

"Well...he kinda came after me." Steve's face flushed red even more

Bruce just smirked; surely nothing that bad could've happened? Tony _**was**_Tony, after all. "Oh?" he asked.

"Yeah. He tried to kiss me." The scientist choked on his beer.

"He did what?" Bruce's face had taken on a look of cold fury, but thankfully Steve was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice.

"Tried to kiss me. He was really drunk, but still. I punched him across the face." At this, Bruce grimaced slightly; a punch from Steve would hurt, no matter how drunk the person was.

"Serves him right." he grumbled, gripping his beer bottle so tightly that it broke.

Steve stared at the mess. "Are you okay, Bruce?"

The man in question stood up, shaking the blood and glass from his hand. He smiled darkly before answering. "Just fine, Steve. Excuse me," he added, walking away from the super soldier and off stage. Steve stared after him. A few moments passed, and Steve brought himself back to reality. With a shake of his head he pulled his rosary back out and began praying once more.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

The stage was changed to reveal a bathroom. Tony was leaning over the sink shirtless, as Clint stood behind him, hands working furiously to remove the glass.

"How bad is it?" Tony asked, biting his hand to keep from crying out in pain.

"Pretty bad. It's a fucking mess back here." Clint answered, pulling out another large shard of glass. "I don't think I can get anymore out without tweezers or something. You really should go to a hospital."

"Fuck no. And miss a party? You're crazy. Just wrap it up and I'll be fine." The shock of being rejected so absolutely and the pain of both Steve's punch and crashing into the bar had sobered Tony up considerably, though he was beyond ready to get drunk again if it meant he would forget what had happened.

The archer sighed. "Get ready," he warned, opening the bottle of rubbing alcohol. He picked another shard out of the bloodied area. With gritted teeth, he poured the bottle down Tony's back. The billionaire inhaled sharply and began panting, obviously on the edge of screaming bloody murder.

"Almost done." Clint reassured him. He took a paper towel and gently dried the alcohol away, taking care not to put much pressure on so as not to push any glass in deeper. Once it was clean, he took the roll of bandages and started wrapping. Minutes later the wound was cleaned and dressed and Tony was able to gingerly put on the jacket Clint offered him. When zipped up, it just looked like he had a low cut shirt on underneath.

"How do I look?" Tony asked.

"Like shit," Clint answered, smirking. "You're going to have one helluva shiner in the morning. I'm surprised it didn't break your face."

"Me too," Tony sighed, turning around and looking in the mirror at his face. There was a huge red mark spread out across his right cheekbone. By the way his eye was swollen shut, he expected that Clint was right; there would be a shiner there, and it wouldn't be pretty.

The archer walked up behind Tony and patted his arm. "There there. Now at least you know not to spar with Steve."

"Damn straight. This'll be a constant reminder." Tony looked back over his shoulder and tried for a smile, though it came out as more of a painful grimace. "Don't let me keep you, Clint. Go enjoy the party."

"You sure? I'll stay if you want."

"Nah I'm good. I know you've got a stripper or two waiting for you." Clint snorted and walked out of the bathroom, shaking his head.

Staring at himself in the mirror, Tony moved to trace the outline of the bruise with a light touch. As soon as contact was made, he inhaled sharply and removed his finger. Sighing once more, Tony shook his head; soon he would have to wear an eye patch like Fury. The soft sound of strings drifted out of the pit, and taking a deep breath, Tony began to sing.

_What a turn of events__  
__What a way to set the stage__  
__To leave me hanging__  
__Punched in the face_

_Do I regret__  
__My choices in the past?__  
__Cannot forget__  
__The thing before the last_

_And do I stand__  
__Thinking that you'll come back?_

_No I guess not__  
__But somewhere inside__  
__I think you might_

_Do I regret__  
__The way and how we met?__  
__No I think not__  
__Because I won't forget_

_And I stand still__  
__Yes I stand fast__  
__Do I regret__  
__My past of course_

_But no not you__  
__You meant so much__  
__I won't regret__  
__Our almost kiss_

_That's my turn of events__  
__That's the way we'll leave the stage__  
__My just standing punched in the face_

Tony took one last look into the before turning and walking back off stage, a single tear running down his swollen cheek.

* * *

**Y'all know the drill by now.**

**~Tono and Renee**


	5. note

hello friends long time no talk huh news for you all this story will continue on tono's page so go to hers and ask her for more information

its been fun

-renee


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